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How to get Work

 In Australia

 How to get it: Have the sweetest of dreams, and wake up early on Saturday.(5:30 am is good!) Run to the corner shop and buy the newspapers. Run back home and throw everything out but the work section. Read everything, mark the ones you want, and check if the phone is around you. Recheck again the jobs, and once you find the job of your dreams...Call them using light speed. Statistics say that the first to call has a 95% chance of getting the job. For those who call the next day, chances are less than 1%. If a resume is required, put a CD on, take a deep breath, and start writing the best CV you've ever done! Check everything that you have written, do a spell check (In Australian English!), and send it by fast mail. 

Make sure your mobile phone is fully charged and take it with you everywhere you go! (including the toilet...) If you receive an answer from the employer asking you for an interview, PLEASE, do no get there late. (You are in Australia!) Congratulations, you may get that job. 

Other tips: If the Employer asks you if you know how to do something, answer yes, and tell him that you are keen to improve, and brush up on your knowledge about that subject. Also tell him that you are a fast learner and hard worker. If you say no, you may have a "Goodbye" as an answer. At least if you get fired later because of incompetence, you made some bucks and learnt something new.

  • Never, but never, sit down in front of your boss. Only if your work is informal. Also don't hang against walls or show any symptoms of the following: tiredness, hang over, cold, hemorrhoids, or tooth ache. Australians are the type who can die of fever, but die standing up! 

  • If you got a NO and are really enthusiastic about the job, go back there and persist with the boss. Australians admire tough people, and we know about a case 15 X 1, meaning; the person went 15 times to the shop but finally got the job as a Video Rental Assistant. 

  • Observe personal hygiene, clean clothes, good smell, hair combed, baby butt shaved, and a breath of flowers in the field. If you going to get a job in the kitchen, remember, mechanics nails are not really appreciated when dealing with food. 

  • Smile without terrorizing the boss. Australian employers prefer happy people, and people with a sense of humour, but please do not force your happiness or you may be taken as Bozo the Clown. 

  • Referees are very important and asked for upon application for jobs in Australia. You must present a letter from a person (people) or company (professional references, not personal) about your work quality and your character, punctuality, etc. Many employers will not consider your application if you don't have some reference letters or telephone numbers for checking.

    Always keep trying, sooner or later you will get work in Australia !!!

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